I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
