im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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