I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
