Plan B is the new Plan A
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
