if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
