I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize