My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
