Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize