Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
