we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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