Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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