All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
