If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
