D3 body, D1 cock
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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