youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
