PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
