She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
