people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
