My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
