32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
