If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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