Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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