Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
