i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
