We won't sleep together?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
