i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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