somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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