I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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