I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
