if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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