he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
