she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
