my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
