a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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