i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
