Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
