Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
