Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
