im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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