Sry I called you an 8
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
