Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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