they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize