the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
