my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
