he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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