she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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