false alarm. still invincible.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
