Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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