I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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