I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
