It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We don't watch enough power rangers
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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