So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Boobs are out for the taking
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
