Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
