I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
