so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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