i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
