i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
