8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
