we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
