Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
