her vagine was all disorganized.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need to wash the frat house off of me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
