ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just high enough for therapy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
