You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
