Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
