I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
