North Korea, Best Korea!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Two words: blizzard sex
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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