Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
