new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
