I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize