Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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