Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
